I went to bed at 11:00 p.m. I couldn’t sleep until 1:00 a.m. As I tossed and turned, this question kept tormenting me…

Did I Win - Or Lose?

Late on Tuesday night, I got this impulsive idea. Having been involved in the launch of a wildly popular ebook - “20 Ways to Make $100 a Day” - I wondered if it may not be a great idea to get 100 people involved in a challenge to raise $100 in a day for charity.

I picked “Room to Read” because I love John Wood’s efforts, and Tim Ferriss mentioned his involvement with it, and I remembered Seth Godin blogging about it sometime recently.

In a blitz of activity, I blogged, wrote content, drafted emails, Twittered, networked like crazy online and tried my best to get folks excited about it.

24 hours later, as I lay in bed, I reflected.

My goal was to raise $10,000 in a day to help build a library, by getting 100 people to raise $100 each.

My achievement was to get 8 people to set up a fundraising webpage - and 4 of them hit their target of $100 in a day.

My effort had helped raise a bit over $400 for charity.

So…

Did I Win - Or Lose?

In a sense, this effort is a microcosm of my bigger effort with my non-profit work.

In 1999, I started working seriously on the problem of helping children from poor Indian families with congenital heart defects and set up the Dr.Mani Children Heart Foundation.

My goal was to raise $250,000 every year and sponsor 100 heart operations.

My achievement, in 7 years, has been to raise around $86,000 and we have sponsored 23 heart operations.

So…

Did I Win - Or Lose?

At my more optimistic moments (or when I’m feeling more generous and gentle towards myself), I convince myself it’s ok, that there’s been a lot of progress.

And at more realistic times, I’m inclined to think Guy Kawasaki got it right when he told me (when I asked for his advice): “If you haven’t got your team in place in 2 years, you’re not trying hard enough!”

Oh, well.

And when you start looking at it in even broader dimensions, there’s even less clarity.

I read this somewhere - on Twitter or on a blog.

Most of us recall our father’s name, and grandfather’s name. But do you know your father’s grandfather’s grandfather’s name? Chances are you do not!

Now, if you don’t know your own family’s patriarch 4 generations before your dad, what are the chances that anything you do today will be remembered by someone else 4 generations hence? Or three? Or even two?

So why obsess over the question:

Did I Win - Or Lose?

Frankly, my dear, who gives a damn?